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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

New Series: The Truths that Dare Not Speak Their Names

“Political correctness” had its heyday back in the late 1980’s/early 90’s.  People still refer to it, of course, but as an actual movement – the kind that briefly was establishing speech codes across America’s college campuses – its sun has set.

Except, curiously and in a weird kind of way, in politics.  I don’t know why it is, but in American politics – especially American presidential politics – a strange kind of political correctness attaches to both parties, to both parties’ supporters, and to both parties’ supporting pundits, and it prohibits people saying flat out some things that everybody knows to be true but about which we are all supposed to pretend we are completely unaware.

Here are two examples of truths that everybody recognizes, but nobody says:

Herman Cain Will Never Be the Republican Nominee Because He is Black.  I don’t know why everybody refuses to acknowledge this point.  The Republican Party hates black people; one of the pledges the Republican presidential aspirants were asked to sign this year included the acknowledgement that black people were better off being kept as slaves.

Everybody on the Left has noticed a large degree of racist tripe directed toward President Obama, everybody has been saying for years that the GOP is the party of bigots . . . and yet, Herman Cain is treated as a serious contender by the networks hosting the Republican debates, and he won the Florida straw poll, and now there is some speculation that Cain might just be the Republican nominee.

No, he won’t.  Because he is black.  And Republicans hate black people.  Oh sure, black candidates have their place in the Republican Party:  they can provide cover for the otherwise all-white Republicans and help shield the GOP from the well-deserved charges of racism sometimes lobbied against it.  But a black man simply cannot be made the Republican Party’s leader and candidate for the White House – the party faithful would revolt.  I don’t know why everybody refuses to acknowledge this publicly.

Chris Christie Is Too Fat to be Elected President.  Nobody is saying Chris Christie is too fat to do the job.  If Christie were the Vice-President and the President died, I am sure that Christie would be able to fill the position – amply. (ba-dump-bump!)

But, seriously?  This is America – we hate fat people.  I’m not saying that it’s okay that we do, I’m just acknowledging that we hate fat people.  (Which is weird, because most Americans are so goddamned fat.  Hhhmmmm . . . we might have some serious self-loathing issues to work through.)  If Christie were to be the Republican nominee (which he won’t be, because he isn’t running), the second he had to waddle onto the same stage with tall, lean, lithe Barack Obama, the contest would be over.

I’m not saying that it makes sense, I’m not saying it is a good way to select the leader of the country, I’m just saying that most Americans are idiots and they’ll vote for a fit, slim guy over a waddling heart attack waiting to happen – pardon the pun – in a heartbeat.

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There are more of these, of course, and I’ll post them as they occur to me.

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